TheTraveler

 

Speaking Easy: Understanding British Pub Menus
By Toddie Downs

The myth of Britain's bad food has been around as long as that of the Loch Ness Monster. Now, while I can't easily debunk Nessie's existence, I can ease the fears of many Americans traveling to Britain that they will not find a decent meal. In fact, you can eat hearty and satisfying meals and stay on your budget by looking to the local pubs. If only there weren't that cursed language barrier in the way. "What?" you say, "I thought they spoke English in the United Kingdom!" Ah, 'tis true, but there's a big difference to be found between American-English and British-English, if you know what I mean, and nowhere is the abyss greater than in deciphering the local pub menu. So as an assist to hungry, budget-conscious travelers in England and Scotland, I give you the American translation to many of the pub choices you will encounter while in the Mother Country.

Bangers and Mash : This dish sounds more like a punk comedy duo than something to eat, but it's pure comfort food - sausage and mashed potatoes. There are many varieties of sausage over on the British Isles, and all of them beat American-style sausage hands-down for taste. They are also generally much bigger and fatter than their American counterparts, resembling more of a kielbasa than the piddly links we're used to in this country.

Black pudding : I'm doing a disservice to this dish by explaining what it is before you have a chance to taste it. Also known as "blood sausage," it is essentially a sausage patty made from suet, bread, barley, oatmeal, and. . . pig's blood. Yes, I said it, pig's blood. Now, don't pass out on me here. I was offered some as an honor by my B&B hostess on the Isle of Skye, and it truly was delicious. It is very mild tasting; you taste the oats more than anything else. And it won't turn you into a cannibal or vampire.

Bubble and Squeak : I know, this dish sounds like either a pair of Muppets or something your stomach does before you pop the Pepto. In fact, it's leftover vegetables from a roast dinner (generally potatoes, carrots, peas, and cabbage) that are fried up with mashed potato. The name allegedly describes the sound the vegetables make while cooking. While one pub waitress wrinkled her nose and told my husband that it is an "acquired taste," other local diners loudly disagreed and pronounced it "lovely."

Cornish pasty: This does not have anything to do with paste, or reference accessories for English strippers. A Cornish pasty is actually a portable lunch, a home-cooked Hot Pocket filled with ground beef, potato, onion and rutabaga. If you find yourself hiking the country in traditional English weather, a Cornish pasty or other savory pie bought as lunch from a local bakery can warm you up as fast as a space heater, and make you purr with gustatory happiness besides.

Guinness: This stout probably needs no translation, since you can find it everywhere in the States, but make no mistake, the American version of Guinness tastes different from the Guinness you can get in Britain, and the British version is vastly superior. It is the perfect accompaniment to anything you order. Be forewarned, however; I have heard that just as a bird does not fly with one wing, one should never leave a pub having consumed only one pint of Guinness.

Haggis : You'll find haggis offered on most Scottish pub menus, even vegetarian versions. Like blood sausage, haggis is a type of sausage made with many food staples of the region: oats, onion, and sheep - specifically, sheep organs. The part that everyone knows about haggis is that it is traditionally boiled in the sheep's stomach. But if you look at that as simply an organic cooking vessel, then it shouldn't be a big deal to try some. And in fact, haggis is terrific, very mild tasting, much like scrapple in this country. It is often served with "neaps and tatties," which is not anything obscene, but the short way to say turnips and mashed potatoes.

Spotted Dick : There's nothing quite like requesting "spotted dick" for dessert to make one self-conscious, but it is in fact a yummy steamed suet pudding with dried fruit, usually currants or raisins. Other ingredients common in many spotted dick recipes include nutmeg, ginger, eggs and citrus peel. I haven't been able to stumble across a definitive answer regarding the origins of the name; the best hypothesis I've run across is that "dick" is a shortened version of "pudding" and the currants look like spots; hence, spotted dick.

Sticky Toffee Pudding : I had this on my first trip to England ten years ago and still vividly recall my almost immediate swoon over its taste. If you try no other dessert in the United Kingdom, you must try sticky toffee pudding. Like many English "puddings," it is more of a light sponge cake than a pudding, resting in cream and topped by a velvety coat of warm and sticky toffee. To. Die. For.

These are but a few of the offerings that British and Scottish pubs have to offer. With a little advance knowledge of the lingo, and a little willingness to try something new, any traveler can eat like a king without requiring a king's ransom to pay for it.

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