| Tourist Traveler |
| The newsletter for people that
love to travel! News, resources, reviews, and more! July 2001 * 07/19/01 |
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Confessions of a Carry-On Baggage Abuser by Thomas Schueneman “Ladies and Gentleman,
flight 365 with service to Salt Lake City and Boston will be boarding in
just a few moments. At this time, I’d like to invite parents with small
children and anyone needing special assistance to please make their way to
the gate now.”
I hesitated in my seat. “He isn’t really going to do this, is he”, I
thought.
A few minutes before the gate announcement, as Jesse and I waited for
our flight from San Francisco to Boston, he had told me that he would limp
up to the gate when the pre-board announcement was made, making it appear
as if he needed “special assistance”. I was to follow behind with “The
Beast” slung over my shoulder. Once we were on the plane before everyone
else, I’d be able to manhandle The Beast into an overhead bin, without
arousing too much suspicion.
Jesse noticed my hesitation and said, with a hint of exasperation,
“Let’s go! We’ve got to get in the plane!”
I hated this part.
I’d like to think that I had a good excuse. I was just following
orders. But the truth of the matter is, I was just another carry-on
abuser.
Here is my story:
I was hired as a tour manager and sound engineer for Jesse Colin Young.
He is best known for his sixties anthem, “Get Together”, with the
Youngbloods. Others may remember his solo hits from the seventies like
“Ridgetop” (a personal favorite). He still records and performs, and an
evening spent listening to his music is always an enjoyable one for his
audience. And many times for the manager/engineer - though not always. But
that’s another story.
My involvement in his career was much later than all that, in the mid
90's. Jessie was now a solo act - literally. Unless you counted me. The
two of us traveled in the Northeast and the Southwest - New England, New
York, and Maryland; Southern California and Arizona. These trips, three of
them in all, lasted from 5 to 11 days on the road.
Any musical show requires some equipment, unless you’re singing a
cappella and "unplugged". We carried three guitars, one very large metal
suitcase full of equipment, cords, and supplies, a couple of smaller road
cases, our own personal luggage... and “The Beast”. We checked all of it,
except The Beast.
The Beast was a rack of electronics essential to Jesse’s sound. Stuff
that we didn’t rely on the local sound companies to provide. It fit in the
overhead bin - barely. The Beast weighed in at around forty or fifty
pounds. It was my job to sling it over my shoulder, smile, act like it
weighed ten pounds, and then force it into the overhead. The Beast
wouldn’t make it through today’s scrutiny. And a good thing too. Flights
are already too crowded with people and their stuff.
But a few years ago we managed to do it, most of the time. Despite the
looks we’d get from the flight attendants...
The steely eyed glare of “What do you think your doing bringing The
Beast in here?”
I’d look the steely glare in the eye, “What? This lil’ ol’ thing?”
It didn’t always go like that.
We were probably getting a little too cocky when we tried it on a
little puddle jumper from Boston to New York. There was no jetway for this
smaller plane. As I approached the bottom of the stairway into the plane,
the flight attendant standing guard on the tarmac took one look at The
Beast and said, “you’re not taking that thing up there, you’re going to
check it.”
“Oh, thank you! Thank you!” I thought. It was so nice not to have to
lug The Beast up those stairs and try to make it fit yet again. (It never
would have anyway, on this small plane.)
I climbed the stairs with the very real feeling of a weight being
lifted from my shoulders.
Shortly after I settled happily into my seat near the back of the
plane, an attendant approached asking if I would mind moving to a jumper
seat in the front of the plane. Apparently there was a concern with the
planes’ weight and balance.
"I can relate", I thought,“I guess I should loose a few pounds".
I certainly didn’t want the plane to flip over backwards during takeoff
on my account.
As the plane droned through the gray overcast on its short hop to New
York, I watched the thirty or so faces looking back in my general
direction. People seemed to avoid my gaze. Even Jesse wouldn’t look at me.
I started to doze...
“Ladies and Gentlemen. In front of you right now is Tom. He just
attempted to bring The Beast into your cabin. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen,
Tom is a Carry-On Abuser”
My eyes opened with jerk.
Passive faces reading magazines, looking out the window...
I was dreaming, wasn’t I?
Article reprinted with permission through http://www.ideamarketers.com/
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